Abuelita always said “Del plato a la boca se cae la sopa” Should you share your dreams and goals?
We have talked about goals and their importance, how to set them, and in what aspects of life we should set goals. ( Clarity is King / Three Pillars To A Great Life )So now its time to let the world know! Well, not so fast.
If you’re Hispanic I’m sure you have heard the phrase “Del plato a la boca se cae la sopa” it translates to” from the plate to your mouth your soup may fall” What does this mean exactly? And is Abuelita right? The phrase refers to your plans or goals being shared. Your victories being celebrated before it happen. Well, I believe your sweet Abuelita might be on to something.
In the past I have had my share of goals or dreams. I have a very creative personality as well as dramatic. I come up with 10 new business ideas before breakfast. The problem was not my ideas, it was the fact that sometimes I couldn’t contain my excitement. I would share my goals with people and it didn’t turn out so good for me. You see when we share our goals three things can happen and it can be counter -productive to us actually reaching our goals and dreams. So..
What happens when you share your goals?
- We can confuse our brain and not actually accomplish our goals
- We can tell the wrong people
- We can commit to something pre-maturely
There have been many studies about this concept of sharing goals. The department of psychology in NYU conducted a study called “when intentions go public.” I will link it at the end of this blog. It mentions that when we share our goal our mind creates something called “social reality” This social reality actually makes you believe you have already accomplished your goal. This is because when you put your goals out into the world your brain automatically associates your goal as part of your identity. Your brains believes you have done the work and accomplished it. The problem with that is that you have not done the work therefore have not accomplished it. Remember, our brain believes what we tell it to believe.
What about accountability?
When we set out to accomplish something and are really serious about it we usually want someone to hold us accountable. Right? We want to know that there is someone out there that will remind us, motivate us, and of course hold us accountable. So how do we share our goals without cursing ourselves?
1: You want to mention the work you will have to do to accomplish your goal instead of sharing your goal as an identity
Wrong: I am going to be a professional dancer ( I have already created my identity as a professional dancer)
Instead : I will have to go to dance lessons and practice dancing with a partner to become a professional dancer. (I will have told my brain that I have to put in the work in order to become a professional dancer. Be specific with your brain)
2: Pick the right people to tell your goal.
Wrong Person: We might not want to tell our negative Nancy friend, our co-worker, our neighbor, or booty call because guess what? They won’t hold us accountable. They might even be hindering to our mind set. Negative Nancy might tell us how awful or unrealistic the goal is. Our neighbor or co-worker will not care, and the booty call just has one thing in mind and it is not your dreams and goals.
Instead: We should tell someone that WILL hold us accountable and that will support us in our goals. Someone with a backbone. Such as your sweet Abuelita, a close friend, your spouse or serious partner. Because when we share our goals with the right people it can be amazing to see how much your loved ones will rally behind you.
3. Simply write it down
If you don’t have anyone in your life that can make you accountable and really support you don’t tell the wrong people just for the sake of getting your goals out in the world. It will only set you back. Instead write it down. Even though you are writing it down I would still follow the same technique of tip #1, mention the work you will have to do. After you write it down put it up somewhere you pass by every single day multiple times a day. Remind yourself of what you want to accomplish. I actually would recommend you write it down regardless if you tell someone or not.
And Maybe, Just Maybe…………
Zip it. You don’t want to share and commit to a goal if you don’t know for a fact that it truly is what you want. Because if you say you will reach a million goals and commit to none no one will believe you and it will be harder for people to back you up when you are really trying to accomplish something.
• Take your time and really think if you want to commit to this new goal
• Phrase your goal in a way you include the work you will have to do instead of just mentioning your goal as if you already are. (Don’t confuse your brain)
• Tell the right people
• Write it down
• If possible, just keep it to yourself. Show people with actions not words.
“Setting Goals takes desire, but completing them takes determination”