20 mindsets and actions for a good life

“Anything is possible if you believe in yourself.” This is the most important message I want you to receive from me. For those that know my story know I have seen some dark times. In order for me to get up I needed to change my mindset, my patterns, my attitude, and really define what I wanted out of life. Changing myself instead of waiting the world to change for me is what has changed my life. Which is why I want to share with you the things I needed to get right to get up an begin to fulfill my dreams. When you begin to consider this 20 things you will be on your way to have a successful 2019 and life.

1.Get your state of mind right

The most important thing is to want, accept, and know you deserve change. You must believe it is possible. Nothing can really change without having your mind right. You must be in the game to win the game.

2.Determine what success is to you

Now that you have decided to change you need to determine the truth about what you are pursuing. We must all have a direction. If we don’t that’s when I believe we have a lost of soul. We begin to lose sense of life. Our brains need direction. So, what is success to you? What are you pursuing? Even though many people will want to sell you the idea that success is new cars, many houses, boats, women, men etc. Know that you must eliminate that idea of success because that is consumer fantasy that the same companies that sell you those cars, houses, boats want you to see as success. They use our human nature and our need to be desired, be acknowledge, and be validated to sell you those products. You can still desire these things but your definition of success must be bigger than that. Success can be financial freedom, being able to travel the world, not being tied to a nine to five, etc.

3.Determine your goals?

Like I said before our brains need direction. The more specific the better, our brains can’t create a reality that is vague . I have a detailed blog that can really help you set your goals in the right way. Go check it out after reading this blog https://betteryouspace.com/2018/04/28/clarity-is-king/

5.Determine the skillsets needed

“Don’t downgrade your dream to fit your present reality. Upgrade your skills to match your destiny.” Many people see where they are and they thinks about their goal. They see the big gap in between and assume they can’t accomplish it. No one is born walking. People you look up to became exceptionally good at a set of skills. Figure out what it is that you need. Maybe it is learning to read people, learning a new language, you decide and start learning.

4.Have urgency

I was forced into urgency because my health was falling apart and so was my life. So I needed to make a move and fast! However, I know sometimes we can live like we have so much time. We procrastinate and act like time is not passing us by. Just remember a minute turns into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months. A year from now you will look back, what will you look back at? Nothing? Or months of progress, work, and accomplishments? Now, don’t be ruled by time to the point of anxiety but do live with urgency.

6.What are you willing to do?

I want you to be honest here. Are you willing to stay up late? Or get up early? You need to determine what you are really willing to do for success. I am writing this blog at one in the morning. That is what I am willing to do. I gave up a trip to New York to pay off debt so I can be financially free. Do you want this bad enough?

7.Determine your compass

Speaking of what you are willing to do you must also determine your morals. I wouldn’t want you to go off and do something immoral for the sake of success. Your morals are a compass that will keep you aligned while following your goals. It can be easy to fall into the trap of quick and easy. Especially with social media, but knowing your morals will allow you to follow your dreams with integrity.

8.Build a reputation

This is one thing that I am grateful I harvested many years ago. Anyone that meets me, or at least about 99% of people that meet me can tell you I am nice. I mean, I am human and have bad days. I genuinely care about people so when I began to blog those that know me automatically knew I was coming from a good place. That is the reputation I have. Everyone that has worked with me knows I am a hard worker. You must be consistent with your character and your actions to be able to create a good reputation. You need good repour to create lasting relationships. whether personal or in business. It takes years to build a good reputation and minutes to destroy. So be careful, carry yourself with integrity. What do you want your reputation to be?

9.Practice Gratitude

The more grateful you are the more positive things you will attract. You will here me say this a lot throughout my blogs. The more you focus on how you are blessed, the less you will focus on what you lack. Focus on the good instead of the bad. Gratitude and positivity is not corny talk, it is focus shift. Try thinking about three things you are grateful for each day. You can say it out loud, have a gratitude journal, or put it on your phone. You can even post it on twitter. Just show gratitude.

10.Give to receive

In a society that has become me, me, me giving can seem unnatural. Believe me when I say this, if you want success, meaningful relationships, or influence people, you must give first. If you show up for people with pure intentions of “how can I bring value to you”, people will not show up for you.

11.Believe people the first time

I really had to work on this in order to begin to get up. The optimistic side of me for people’s potential is what caused the most pain. You must believe people’s words the first time. After that, you believe actions and patterns. Don’t allow negative and toxic people to keep you down with imaginary potential.

12.Replace negativity

Any negative person, thoughts, environment, or circumstance are better replaced by positive ones. This can be a process, a painful process, but it will lead to bigger and better things.

13. Learn to say NO

I am naturally a people pleaser so saying no was so hard for me. Learning to have boundaries and not allowing people to suck up your time is a must. No is not a bad word. It is there to set boundaries for healthy relationships.

14.Learn to say YES

Pursuing your goals will require you to do things you haven’t done before. As long as your morals are not being violate, you must try new things. Learn to say yes to new experiences. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone will allow you to grow!

15.Don’t be an extremist

Too much of anything is not good. You see it today in addiction, in politics, and in the media. Finding a good medium, is what will allow you to go further.

16.Live with intention

I learned the great importance of this when I got Hashimoto’s. When your body only has so much energy every move must count. When your every action has a purpose and you act with intention everything will connect. All your actions will align to your bigger purpose.

17.Turn wounds into wisdom

Everybody has a story and we have all been knocked down. In order to grow you must learn from those hard times, allow them to make you stronger and find a benefit out of those situations. If you don’t learn your lesson out of certain hardships you are bound to repeat them.

18.Live in the moment

Be present! You are not your past, and the future is yet not here. As long as you do all that you can today to get you closer to your goal, and you show gratitude for your progress today, you will reach your goals. Live!

19.Laugh

Just laugh. Enjoy the process of pursing your dreams.

20.Rinse and repeat

Written by: Lupita G.

Pictures by: Chen Hu and Darius Bashar

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