As someone that has been through traumatic experiences I never really thought I could get out of this cycle of suffering. I wondered why others were happy and why I somehow just didn’t get it. Why I couldn’t achieve peace and why my state of defensiveness was constant. The more I wanted out of my pain somehow I found myself deeper in the hole. It wasn’t until my health reached rock bottom that I really began to evaluate my life. Obviously there were things I had to change I just didn’t know where to start. So I started where I was taught to start, by saying thank you every morning. (Go read last week’s blog for Why gratitude matters
In practicing gratitude we see the good in life. We also learn to look at the diversity in our life with a different perspective. The key though is not to take it and accept it. The key is to learn from it, and let it go. So lets talk about detoxing and letting go.
With 2020 around the corner take this chance to start the new year light and with true intention. When you become light you can travel further, you can let more good things in, and you can achieve more. Detoxing and letting go will not be easy. You will have to change mindsets and habits. There will be certain things that won’t seem natural because you have spent so much time with heaviness and burdens. However, starting the new decade determined and committed to a more fulfilled life will allow you to achieve it. So lets talk about the 7 thigs I did to change my life when it comes to detoxing that can help you for a new beginning in 2020
1.Let go of self doubt- You deserve change
The first thing you have to accept is that change is possible and that you deserve it. You can’t go further if this one thing is not done. If you can be grateful for the things in your life you deserve better ones for the future. Naturally when you practice gratitude you begin attract good things in your life. However, we can’t fully accept them into our life if we feel like we don’t deserve them. Sometimes too we may feel like we aren’t enough to pull change off. You have to constantly remind yourself that you are enough and that you do deserve change.
You deserve it, take control of your life. Understanding that you are now on the drivers seat will not only give you back the power you most likely have given away for so long , but it will also make you accountable. Time to make changes, no turning back. Understand that you are in control of your actions and your responses.
3. Let go of negative thoughts-journaling
Let everything out. Many times the enemy of progress is our mind. We run negative thought in the background, they continuously run quietly until they are not. The best way to beat that is to write it all down and letting it go. Get it out of your head. When you feel your mind is stressed write. When you feel down, doubtful, overwhelmed, write. Seeing our thoughts in paper help us see either how silly some of thoughts and problems are or let us know we need to address something.
4.Let go of resentment- Forgiving
Part of letting negative thoughts go you also have to let go of grudges. Resentment is a prison in the past. If we live in the past we can’t build for the future. Forgive not for whom ever hurt you but for your peace. Go check out my Forgiveness blog for more details on this topic.
5. Let go of negative talk
Besides journaling to let negative thoughts out and forgiving to let resentment go, you have to also replace negative thoughts with positive ones. The first year of trying to work on my self love I walked around saying “You are beautiful” randomly and constantly. Every time I had a negative thought I would acknowledge it and say two positive things about myself. Now I know it may seem un natural. You might even feel silly doing this but its only because you have spent so much time talking to yourself negatively. I don’t care how silly you feel, do it. Do it often, do it because you deserve it.
Shedding and metamorphosis is a process that is heavy. It can many times feel like things are falling more apart before they can come together. Having a support system will make this process easier. Support has many faces. It can be professional support like a therapist, family, or friends. I will always advocate for therapy. I have been to therapy before, it can be helpful. For those that can’t afford therapy or feel like therapy is not for them family and friends are great support systems as well. I couldn’t have changed my life without my mom. She was there for me to vent, to push me, to help me see things I still couldn’t see. Its okay to ask for help. Just make sure those around you support you and want to see you win.
7. Let go of victim mode
That word should no longer exist in your vocabulary. The moment we associate ourselves with that word we have lost. Victims don’t have power. The moment you begin to feel like you have no control or like life has is out to get you, go back to taking inventory. I know sometimes we want to go on defense mode or in a victim mode because we are so use to bad things happening that it becomes default mode. However, remember that it all comes down to perspective. Look at the little things in life that are going your way.
These tips are not a step one then two. They all go hand in hand. A new life won’t happen over night. You can start 2020 determined to work on a new life though. You can do this! You can hold on to the pain and this idea that life is unfair. Or you can change your perspective. You can make 2020 the year you let go of baggage. The year you heal, the year you grow. Remember, you can do this!
Written by: Lupita G.