These past few days we have been celebrating the beauty of motherhood. Mother’s day in the U.S was yesterday and today as I am writing this its Mother’s day for many Latin American countries. It made think of all the beautiful life lessons that motherhood brings. Motherhood is something that takes so much love and sacrifice. Creating a life is a gift, being a mother is a responsibility.
Side note: I would also like to extend my love and compassion to those that may be grieving a mother, may not have a mother present, or those that had to become the mother in the family. The word mother can bring up different things for everyone. I see you, and I hold space for you.
With that being said, the following are 10 things I’ve learned from my mother, grandmother, and from being a mother myself. Things that have really shifted the way I see the world.
Seeing life through the eyes of a child
The beauty of being surrounded by little eyes is that you get to rediscover the world. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is such a humbling experience. You realize that life is not as complicated as we like to make it. Their ability to be kind to even the smallest creature, its a reminder that everything is connected. Everything is divinely created. So often we say we are shaping who they are that we lack the ability to see that they actually teach us more about life. From raising them, to learning from their innocent nature, my children have impacted me more.
Things don’t have to be perfect to feel perfect
Motherhood is not Instagram or Pinterest perfect. Those very curated images can mess with our head thinking that we aren’t good enough. Being a mother can be messy, complicated, and exhausting. However, when you look at a child’s eyes, hear their contagious laugh, and feel their warm hugs everything feels perfect. Life is a lot like that.
Things don’t necessarily have to be perfect to feel perfect. If we wait until things are perfect, Instagram perfect, we will miss out on the precious moments life has to offer. So don’t forget to dance, laugh, and enjoy the small moments in life.
It really does take a village
Raising children is such a responsibility, that it can’t really fall on one person. As a society we are raising the next generation. From the woman who grew the seed, to the community that helps nourish it. We must stop shaming mothers for seeking help, for getting daycare, for staying at home, for going back to work, or for accepting they need help. This goes for anything in life, understand that anything you endeavor to do is all community based. From the business you may want to start, to the the people you may want to surround yourself with to create a difference. It all goes back to community.
Happy you, happy life
Women are often taught that everything takes president over their wellbeing. That gets worse as we become mothers. We are often running on fumes. It really took me to get really sick to understand this. We cannot give from an empty cup. There is no shame in rest, in mothers going out to reconnect with the world, and doing things they love. This goes out to everyone really, you cannot give from an empty cup. Placing your wellbeing first in not an act of selfishness but instead a necessity to be able to give those that need you the most. You can’t care for others if you are not okay
The empowerment of unconditionally love
Growing up I was so afraid to disappoint my parents, my teachers, my friends. So much so that I began to have a people pleasing problem. This came from of course being an immigrant child wanting to prove myself, and the school system that places value on your work. All that lead to me attracting takers, never truly being secure in what I did, and of course made me terrified of failing!
I wanted to do things different with my children. I wanted to remind them I have unconditional love for them. This is something we can’t just feel by the way, we must repeat it and show it continuously. Something beautiful began to happen when I did. They began to feel empowered to try new things. They aren’t afraid to fail, and when they do they are able to talk about what they learned.
The same goes for us! So many of us are reparenting ourselves and self love is such a powerful step. Unconditional self-love is not only good for our self esteem but it also pushes us to seek more, to do more, and to become better versions of ourselves.
Do as I say, and as I do
Another thing many of us grew up hearing is do as I say, not as I do. It’s interesting that actually the biggest lessons, habits, and ideologies come from watching my mom do the damn thing. So many times she felt inadequate to give me advice because she felt my life experiences were so different from hers. However, I saw that quite different. I saw the way she shifted her life by changing the way she talked to herself. I saw her go after the things she wanted despite the shortcomings, and despite the hardships. The truth is that the biggest lessons from our parents, in this case our mothers, is not in what they say, It comes from they do or don’t do.
The same can be said about leaders. The difference between a boss and a leader is that a boss tells you what to do, a leader shows you how to do it. So, many of us have learned much more from our parents this way than what they might have said to us. I encourage you to remember this as you build your team for your business or you become a leader in your community. Most importantly, as a leader in your family.
We are all unique in every way
Having two very different children has taught me a very important lesson, not everyone is the same. Its such a common sense knowledge but we tend to forget the value of knowing this as we become parents, leaders, and even in our own growth! What might work for one might not work for you, and that’s okay! There are stories that move us and others that don’t. we all have a way of learning, stories that touch our soul, and methods that resonate with us more. Its about finding what works and doing that.
The tremendous power of listening
My mother has been a great example of that. She has shown me compassion, patience, and undivided attention when I’ve had to share things. I try to do the same for my children and listen without judgement and with an open mind. Part of becoming an affective leader, mother, and parent is learning to listen and be observant. We are all after all nothing but grown children. There is so much power in allowing someone to speak their peace. It makes anyone feel seen, heard, and feel like they matter. Even as we teach others, there is so much we learn as we teach by simply listening to those we are trying to influence.
Awareness and looking up
Being a mother comes with an added gift of having eyes behind our back. Hahaha but really though, mothers master the art of multitasking and seeing things play out thee steps ahead. That comes from awareness. We have to be aware to protect our children. I come from a family of strong women who have their own business, as well as I have had my share of business ventures and one thing that really helps is a leader’s ability to be aware and to be able to look up. You can’t see the bigger picture if you are always looking down and only focused on the details. It is something I am now trying to relearn as I try to talk and teach about growth.
Being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me
Becoming a mother felt like I was giving up so much at first to be honest. It is something I struggled with for a very long time. Even more so being a stay at home mom after I developed Hashimoto’s. I saw people moving forward with their careers and I felt stuck. I felt like a bad feminist. It took me really looking within to realize the power that being a mother really was.
No matter if you are a stay at home, a working mom, or a women that has stepped in to help raise a child. There is so much power in motherhood. We are not perfect but then again no one is. Remember to be kind with yourself, and that you got this! Happy mothers day to you today, tomorrow, and everyday.